The lessons are too cruel to keep to lock the door to hide the key

I feel nauseous and apprehensive and I hate the feeling of both. I just finished watching Into The Wild, and it did not help any. Its funny when you watch a movie you’re really into, or even relate to, because when it’s over you feel like you are in the films mind state. Does that make any sense? Maybe not to you, but it does for me. For the rest of the night or maybe even week, my views will have completely changed. This feeling or change always turns out to be temporary, but nonetheless I feel it at the time, and it is more powerful than any other feeling.

I think I may be going away at just the right time.

I have another court date on Thursday, as well as two job interviews with large firms downtown. It’s happens to be Valentines Day on Thursday, and I’ll be spending it hoping around the city solo, from court, to big lonely towers.

I’m not excited whatsoever, but it’s time for some sort of change I guess. I think what bothers me the most is that I have to go into a big office and be judged by some strange lady, who basically decides if she likes me or not. I’m not very good in uncomfortable positions, and I certainly can’t put on an act just for the sake of it. I will also have to take out my lip ring, because fact of the matter is ,there is no way I will be hired if I wear it. Nothing about what I just said makes me want these jobs. But what then?!?! People who have it all figured out make me gag.

I need to shut the eff up immediately because because because.

I’m hungry.
Have a nice night.

p.s Nothing makes me madder than these kinds of blogs. But it’s mine and I have to write what I feel, as exasperating as it might be.

This always makes me smile. I saw it posted on a light pole on sunset boulevard when I was in LA. It pretty much made my trip.

-j