Yey gare I’m happy for you…and here goes the blog downer. I’m always at your service.

I feel like my world just crashed down today. Again. I’m getting really tired of feeling like this. My court situation has been pretty dormant up until today. My lawyer called to tell me that my retainer is up, and we either have to go to trial, or plead guilty. I feel disgusting in every way possible. Every time I try to forget this, it just creeps back to bite me in the ass.

I basically paid that jerk to do a whole lotta nothing, and now I’m told the same thing I was told at the very beginning. That’s the most frustrating part of this all. I wish I could talk to my dad. He’s the only one that would calm me down and make sense of all this for me. He won’t be home till Friday, and as of now it seems impossible for me to wait.

Why does everything crash down all at once? And why every time I feel "ok" again. When can I just be happy? It's times like these when I try to think of bigger problems that other people have that are grater and more important than mine, but it’s not helping very much. I must say though, all the little silly things in life, whether it’s about a guy, or not being able to afford the $2000.00 purse I want, seems like a joke in the end. It definitely humbles me even more. It’s just a shitty day that was not anticipated.

Also Tasha and I decided to go to the Humane Society today to look for a doggie for her. I knew it would break my heart, but went with her anyway. I was right, it broke my heart in a million little pieces. The dogs just looked at us with their sad eyes, and I knew what they were thinking. I asked some dude there if they were hiring, and he told me to bring in my resume. I’ am, tomorrow. Nothing in the world would make me happier than working there and seeing beautiful animal faces all day long. Much different then the whole legal gig, but that’s exactly what I wanted. I hope all goes well there.

Ok so ya. I hate being such a debbie downer but I had to get it out, otherwise I would explode.